Originally published August 2017
To my powerful, gorgeous, waiting-to-burst forth womenfolk who sometimes feel stuck. This is for you.
Do you ever wake up and think: “Is this all there is?”
Because – floating. Drifting. Just surviving isn’t the same as LIVING, is it? Really LIVING.
That’s what it’s all about. Really LIVING.
If you live in a place and space of regret, guilt, anger, sadness, FEAR – it is a low-grade life-sucker. Argh.
And the thing is – it tears you apart, doesn’t it? This slow death thing. Eats you alive from the inside out.
I know. I’ve been there. Those of you who know my story know that I was a super angry young woman, extremely guarded, pretty much a knucklehead there for a few years.
Before I became willing to forgive. And even then, those of you who know me know I made some spectacular mistakes even after that. …sheesh... Hindsight is 20/20, right?
And unfortunately, they didn’t just impact me. They impacted my children. It impacted my work. It impacted my health.
Personal and business decisions can impact your family heavily, can’t they? Even when you try to justify the long hours, the stress, and how you have to work or else you won’t be able to pay bills.
Here’s the deal: even after work, if your brain is still at work, your family still doesn’t get “YOU”, do they? You’re just a warm body with a pulse at that point. Not present. The stress wreaks havoc on your sleep and your ability to really be present at work or at home.
I wish it weren’t true, but the crap you hold onto is the crap that leaks out on those you say you value the most.
After the second divorce, I threw up my hands. Not in defeat. And even though it looked like disgust, what it really was, was DEFIANCE.